Since Facebook made its debut and began to takeover the world, I have never understood why people were so eager to put everything about themselves on the internet and I’ve never understood the need to look up every person you’ve ever known. I think that it can be great to catch up with old friends that you have lost touch with but it has always made me nervous to have everyone you’ve ever known be able to look you up and get involved in your personal life.
I know there are privacy settings, but my rationale was more about not wanting to get involved in the personal drama that I saw playing out with other people and I wasn’t interested in having any of that in my life. Friends and co-workers would tell me, “You can choose not to accept their friend request” but my response was always, “Isn’t the fact that I haven’t spoken to you in (insert length of time) proof that I’m not interested in resuming a relationship? Why do we need to bring up old ish?”
A few years ago, I ran into a former friend from high school who, as she hugged me said, “Kirsten, I have been looking for you all over Facebook” to which I said, “that’s why I’m not there…I’m not trying to be found!” She cracked up and knew what I meant but after that run-in, I realized that there is a reason we lose contact with people who at one point played a significant role in our lives. We should appreciate what they brought to the table to help us get to the next level but if they had been life long friends or family who still helped you be a better you, you never would have lost touch in the first place, whether the “break-up” was intentional or organic.
It may sound like I am advocating running away from conflict but nothing could be further from the truth. What I am advocating is working to have a drama free life. By introducing people back into your life who have either been toxic or you’ve just grown apart from may not give you the result you are after. There is a reason we graduate from high school, you are not supposed to be 18 for the rest of your life!
As my daughter enters teendom, the likeliness of her asking if she can have a Facebook account is inevitable, (she already snuck and created one when she was 11) and for that reason alone, I know that I am going to have to buckle down and join the social network revolution. I will try to go into it with a positive attitude and when those “old friends” start coming around, I guess I will take them on one at a time but I’m sure I will ask…”why are you trying to bring up old ish?”